dear jerk who stole my favorite black jacket at the movies yesterday,
i understand that watching all of the new york city scenes in spiderman 3 may have led you to dream of an all black sophisticated new york-like ensemble, but did you have to take my favorite jacket? i bought that jacket at a los angeles target several years ago while visiting a good friend. wearing it brought back happy memories of that trip. what will wearing it bring you? memories of taking advantage of a woman who accidentally allowed her coat to fall to the ground? flashbacks of the woman shivering on her way home?
there are plenty of other black jackets out there that you could have bought. all of the examples above are available on ebay and can be shipped worldwide. you could have bought one of these coats and had it delivered to your front door in quito.
you better be careful where you wear my jacket. if i see you, i will happily rip it off your back.
have a nice day,